You don’t need people’s approval..other people’s opinions are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!! Stay focused on your goals and dreams that God put in your heart and he will get you where you are supposed to be. There will always be people who try to pressure you into being who they think you should be. They may mean well and they may have good intentions and think they know what is best for you, but they did not equip or empower you the way God did! I love the way Trent Shelton says it, “Just because they are standing next to you, doesn’t mean they want the best for you...everybody in your inner circle might not be in your corner.” This is so very true and yet, so often, we do not pay attention to it.
If you are going to become the winner you were created to be, you have to be bold and strong and don’t give in , or pay attention, to what others say or think about you. You cannot worry about what everyone thinks and you certainly cannot try to keep everybody happy. One of the qualities of a winner is that you run your race the way you choose to run it.
You have to be willing to accept the fact that you cannot make everyone happy and you will never win over every critic or make everyone like you. As long as you are staying to true to you, and being true to who God called you to be, you can just stay focused on your goals.
If people talk about you, or are upset and do not understand you, that’s okay...you don’t need their approval, and frankly, their opinions really don’t matter for where you are trying to go. We spend way too much time trying to impress other people, trying to gain their approval, wondering what they are going to think if we wear a new outfit, take this new job or not, etc. Instead of us running our races, we often make decisions based on superficial stuff.
How many people today are not being true to who they are because they are afraid that they might disappoint someone, they may not be accepted or they might fall out of good graces. God does not want you to be an imposter or an imitation of somebody else. You need to be the original masterpiece that he created you to be. Even though it may be difficult try to remember that everyone has a right to their opinion and you have every right not to listen to them. If what other people say is not in align with what God has put in your heart, then let it go in one ear and out the other. If you try to keep everybody happy the one person that will be unhappy and frustrated is YOU!! You will find that, quite often, those who try to run your life and tell you what to do often cannot even run their own lives, much less yours.
Your destiny is much too great to get distracted and waste time and energy trying to win over people who may not ever like you. Don’t take it personally because it is not about you. It is usually about them and often it’s because they are jealous of what God is doing in your life. There is nothing you can do that will change them...no matter how much you try to show them kindness and compassion, they will still find something to criticize or complain about.
This reminds me of a story i heard not too long ago, about a grandfather in the country who took his son into town on a donkey. He started off letting his grandson ride the donkey as he walked by its side. Someone passing by said, “Look at the selfish boy making that old man walk”. The grandfather heard it and took the boy off. Then he rode the donkey as his grandson walked alongside and someone came along and said, “Look at the man making that little boy walk while he rides comfortably”. Hearing that, the grandfather pulled the little boy up with him and they both started riding the donkey. In just another few minutes, another person came by and said, “how cruel of you and the boy to place such a heavy load on that poor donkey.” By the time the two got to town, they were carrying the donkey! ...HA!! You cannot freakin’ win!! The moral of this story is that no matter what you do, you will never please everybody. They have a right to their opinions and you have a right to not pay attention to them.
Take a second to ask yourself: Are you allowing someone to control you or make you feel guilty about not doing what they want you to do? Set some boundaries if you need to so that you do not miss out on your God given destiny because you were too busy trying to please other people. He does not want you to waste your life trying to make other people happy. Be compassionate and kind but run your own race and stay true to you. Be secure and confident in who you are, stay true to what God has put in your heart, and he will get you to where you are supposed to go!
Most people can give you hundreds of reasons why they fail at things, but they often struggle to give you just a few of the reasons as to why they succeeded. When we have a bad performance we know exactly WHY! We know WHO to blame, exactly WHAT happened and everything like that, but we cannot actually verbalize why we won or why we were successful at something.
Failure is often times a much more powerful emotion than that of victory. NOBODY wants to fail...failure is often what we try to avoid our entire life. It does also act as a motivator for many, as well as not failing. We have this bizarre fear of failure and yet, only after failing do we know what it is like to succeed. I think it is truly more about having others SEE us fail.
Does winning have the same connection to a person’s deepest fears? No..it does not! Winning is something that, when it happens, most of us are actually surprised. It is as if we actually EXPECT to fail and are surprised when the opposite happens.
When you start to go back into the mindset of “I don’t want to fail”, write down and journal three or four things that you did that led you to a win, or led you to a success. You will soon realize that there is a process and the process always wins...habits and routines performed consistently are what lead you to victory. Get obsessed with the process-the process is your life! The goal is some day.
Winning requires full alignment and failure can often be based on an acute lack of judgment and focus. Be sure to track your winning process and what it took to get there and get really excited about the tiny baby steps & “little wins” that we often don’t give any credit to. It’s a process and a journey and appreciating what it took to get there make the wins that much sweeter. It starts by understanding WHY you were successful and the steps that you took to get there.
Champions aren’t afraid of failing and every single one of us has a champion (a “rockstar”) on the inside!!
What do you see when you stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself? Do you see a strong body that has created beautiful babies or do you see a belly full of stretch marks?
Do you see a healthy body that has run a half marathon, or an injury-free body that gets you running up and down flights of stairs to your office or apartment each day or do you see thighs you wish were 2-3 inches smaller than they are?
We are constantly comparing ourselves to others, and with social media at our fingertips, it is easier than ever to find continual fault with our bodies and pick apart the way we look. We have to put a stop to this unhealthy self-talk and trash talk. I call it trash or garbage because that is exactly what it is and it STINKS!!
It’s time to stop comparing, stop the self-loathing and start to love and appreciate our bodies for carrying us through this crazy life with grace. We know that this will not happen overnight, but hopefully, with a few tips to follow, you will be on a much better path to loving yourself a little bit more every day.
Be Grateful for Your Amazing Body
Your body is your temple and it has grown into who you are today. Why are we so quick to hate on our bodies that have gotten us through each and every step of our journey up to this point? Be grateful for all you have been blessed with...for your legs that can walk and run and take you all sorts of places, instead of criticizing them for not looking the way you think they should.
Thank your arms for being strong enough to hold your kiddos or to hug your spouse instead of complaining about them being flabby or having extra skin that flaps around. Whenever we come from a place of gratitude, there cannot be hate or disgust at the same time. Switch your mindset and self-talk to grateful, positive things and it will do wonders for your confidence and self-esteem. Consciously feed your mind with loving thoughts and kindness and you will start to actually believe it and see just how unbelievably amazing your body actually is.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing ourselves to others steals our joy, and as stated before, social media makes it way too easy to do just that. God made each of us unique, - a masterpiece, and every single one of us is special. If anything on your social feed makes you feel anything “less than” what you are, get rid of it! Stop following, stop reading the comments and buying into the B.S. Life is hard enough...we dont need more negative crap adding to it.
Exercise To Feel Energized
Exercise to feel good. It should NEVER be a form of punishment for something “bad” you might have eaten. Exercise because of the way it makes you feel, because you love it. When you focus more on exercising because of the way it makes your body FEEL rather than the way it makes you LOOK, you will start to enjoy it that much more.
Look Past the Outside Appearance
Unfortunately, many of us have been conditioned to see what is on the outside first. Start to recognize the non-physical traits about your friends that you love. As you start to pay attention to these internal traits and place them on a higher pedastal, so to speak,you will ultimately begin to recognize them in yourself as well. Enjoy the amazing person you are!! Self-love is a process and, inevitably, there will be ups and downs/good days and bad. Try to finish each day being grateful for the strong, beautiful body that you live in and that has carried you this far! After all, you only have one so why not ROCK it?!!
There are so many people who constantly wish that life was easier, with less challenges and obstacles, but without them life becomes stagnant and we stop growing. Challenges, obstacles/problems, help us to uncover who we are, what we are made of and allow us to become better people. Obstacles are simply nothing more than opportunities for us to evolve and grow into better versions of ourselves.
When we are faced with challenges we tend to avoid the issue and run the other way hoping that it goes away or we choose the easy way out even though we know that isn’t the way we truly want to go. It takes more energy and wastes more time when we try to avoid it, as well as more headaches, or often the case, more heartache and we do not get the end result that we were looking for.
Take time to understand the challenge. Make the distinction between a fact and a problem. The difference is quite simple...A fact is something that is unchangeable. The weather is a fact, your age is a fact...certain things just are! They cannot be altered. A problem/challenge is something you can do something about. An obstacle in your path is an unsolved problem. A goal you have not yet achieved is a problem that has not been solved (yet). Problems are simply challenges or obstacles that you inevitably deal with as you go through life. Ask yourself what is possibly being asked of me and what is the main goal? Try to figure out or identify what resources you have at your disposal to work through this challenge...books, money, Google, etc. Are there other people that could possibly help you? What skills do you have and what are your strengths to work through this?
The truth is that most facts that make you unhappy or frustrated exist in the past. It is unchangeable because it is something that happened in the past, which is a fact. It does no good to be upset about a fact. A problem or challenge exists in the future. A problem, the future, is under your control and the outcome is determined by what you do in the present.
Come up with a strategy to overcome this challenge you are facing and create a plan of action that you can apply and execute, knowing that it can be adjusted as you work through it. Do your best to overcome your challenge by executing the strategy with tenacity and determination ...remember, the outcome will be determined by what you do in the present, and if you still can’t overcome a challenge, then it’s time to re-evaluate “why”.
Did it not work because it wasn’t effective or viable? Did you not execute it well enough? Whatever the reason you come up with, be persistent and tweak your efforts trying to come up with the best solution. What action can be taken now? Instead of worrying or stressing out, get to work taking whatever actions you can to resolve the situation and move forward - take the first step now!
Have you ever wondered why we tend to hold onto physical and emotional pain way longer than we need to? We often create, and maintain, problems because they tend to give us a sense of identity and purpose. I am pretty darn positive that you can think of someone you know who creates problems or “drama” and then assumes the victim role to get attention and sympathy.
These kind of behaviors do not serve us in any way whatsoever. Whether they are in ourselves or around us, they are due to our need to replace our past failures, or mistakes, like a broken record in all our minds. They do nothing more than build up feelings of regret and shame. We end up holding onto worry and frustration about the future which creates undue stress and anxiety. We have to learn how to discipline our mind by learning how to let go and focus on being present and doing what we can do today! The past is past and the future isn’t here yet...all we are given is today so it is up to us to make the most of it.
There are so many things we can do TODAY to start to let go of pain, sorrow or anger and allow a sense of peace and calm into your mind and body:
*Physical Exercise or Activity
*Make a list of your accomplishments
*Focus your energy on what you CAN control
*Think on all that you are grateful for
*Engage in a creative hobby or project
*Learn something new
*Focus on breathing…
*There is a great Kundalini meditation that offers a simple solution for letting go and releasing negative emotions. You can practice this virtually anywhere, anytime:
Gently press your thumb against your index finger, then your middle finger, then your ring finger and then your pinkie finger…
When you touch your index finger say: PEACE
When you touch your middle finger say: BEGINS
When you touch your ring finger say: WITH
When you touch your pinkie finger say: ME
Breathe deeply as you say each word and you may go as slow or as fast as you like. You honestly can use this technique anytime, anywhere - in line at the grocery store, when you are frustrated in a meeting or in a heated disagreement with someone. It will help get you through all kinds of crazy emotions and help calm and center you rather quickly.
Learning to let go is a process and the more time you give the practice of letting go, the easier it becomes. Letting go will bring you inner peace and reduce stress. It allows for new experiences and allows space for new memories to be made. It is definitely not an easy thing to do, but well worth the effort!
In today’s crazy world of social media, hundreds of emails, everything and everyone demanding our attention at the same time, we need to become aware of when our “speed” is getting too fast and getting us in trouble...with people, relationships and situations.
Speed can often distract us from what is actually going on in our life and with our health, personal and business relationships, as well as our own well being and mindfulness.
We often run so hard and operate at such a lightning fast pace that we do not pay attention when we truly need rest. We become tired, stressed, exhausted and fatigued and often refuse to listen to our body or to others. We keep pushing through, refusing to give in or quit and eventually, what could have become cured with a nice, long vacation or a few days off, leads to incredible stress, anxiety and burnout.
We become like a fast moving storm destroying everything and anyone in our path, and maybe, several days later, see all of the damage that was left in our wake. We often fear “slowing down” because it forces us to face reality.
It is vital to take time to pause and breathe. Take time to unwind, unravel and just be present in the moment. Take a break from all technology, no email, no phone, no internet - just complete silence, with your breath and just quiet the mind.
You will truly be amazed and astounded by how you feel and what your intuition tells you...all the answers are within, you just need to slow down, be quiet and listen.
Compassion is the greatest form of love that humans have to offer. I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion and kindness it could start a chain reaction. How do you know that kindness, beauty and compassion won’t make the world a better place to be? Tomorrow is not a promise, but it’s a chance that it just might start a chain reaction.
Compassion is the result of expressing empathy for other’s suffering. It is one of the most quintessential components to living a peaceful and harmonious life and brings immediate and long-term happiness when practiced.
A Course in Miracles teaches “Kindness created me kind.” This message reminds us that we came from a loving, kind peace and that through thoughts of kindness and compassion we will remember our truth. Make kindness your goal. When there is a true desire to want to become more compassionate and kind, the key is to make it a daily practice. Consistency is key! Start every day with meditation, when you interact with people, practice compassion and when you are getting ready for bed, right before you go to sleep, reflect on kindness and compassion.
From the Course’s perspective, if kindness created you, then being unkind disconnects you from your truth. Don’t allow your ego to attack and judge others.
Compassion carries positive physical benefits as well. Practicing compassion has been shown to increase DHEA by 100%. DHEA is an anti-aging hormone and it has also been proven that practicing can reduce cortisol by 23%, which is a stress hormone. Compassion and kindness feed spiritual and emotional well-being.
We inevitably become happier and share our happiness with those around us. Most of us desire peace and happiness and to share with others, so it is logical that we would want to practice compassion and kindness to achieve that which we can have as quickly as right now, this very minute.